Alternative Christmas

A Foodie Festivus for the Rest of Us

Look, we enjoy any excuse (really…ANY) to gorge ourselves on good food and drink, and Christmas is right up there in the ranks of pig-out occasions. But we know, of course, that not everyone is doing the Chrimbo thang. Maybe you’ve another religion; maybe you don’t get on with your family (#dark, but the struggle is real); maybe you’re just over all the hubbub. Or perhaps you usually celebrate the holiday, but you’re far from home or you have to work. We feel you! All of you!

Whether you’re feeling a titch left out, or you’re beyond hyped to spend 24 hours marathoning in front of the telly-box with no judging eyes on you, we’re here to help you assemble a decadent December din-din. Forget the date — you don’t need an excuse to treat yourself to a brill buffet (or three). And, being our hungry selves, you know we’ve got some suggestions. We’ll have our list of takeaways that’ll be open on December 25th online for your perusal next week, but in the meantime, here are some non-Noel noshes, through the eyes (and stomachs) of some of your favourite cuisines.


Turkey –> tandoori chicken
Roasted potatoes and cauliflower –> aloo gobi
Christmas pudding –> gulab jamun

Turkey’s always such a hassle anyway! And a sticky, honey-loaded gulab jamun is a perfect swap for your pudding.


Roast goose –> peking duck
Chestnut stuffing –> hot & sour soup with water chestnuts.
Egg nog –> egg custard tarts

Get it…water chestnuts. See what we did there? Word play aside, count us in for this well-rounded meal.


Beef wellington –> Kebab
Pigs in a blanket –> spinach & feta in a blanket (borek!)
Mince pie –> baklava

A photo posted by ChefSadiq (@chef.sadiq) on

Who needs fruit! We’ll take pistachios over raisins any day.

Pizza –> Pizza

It may not be traditional, but…it’s pizza. You can’t go wrong.

Have a pleasant Sunday, December 25, 2016!